A Page of Me: Top 5 Events of 2021

It's the end of 2021 and here I am again! COVID still exists and life really sucks. I wanna go back to the pre-covid days when I don't have to hear those repetitive MRT announcements about COVID like as if saying the same thing differently makes the message any more impactful. The MRT trains have more noise pollution than Orchard road y'know urgh. Seriously though, I'm just hoping that next year we can finally bid goodbye to COVID-19 once and for all. But till then, here are the Top 5 moments of my life in 2021. 

#5: My YouTube Journey - Jan 2021 - Sep 2021:

Yes, this appeared yet again, but if there's anything I learnt in 2021 is that I can't keep a hobby alive lol. All it takes is just a prolonged period of busyness to end a hobby of mine. Or... I'm just a lazy a** who just wanna toh at every opportunity I can. Either way, for the second time in my life, my YouTube channel has been retired. 

To be honest, I never knew how difficult it was to create and edit a video worthy of posting on YouTube, that is until the gaming channel kicked in. I really wanted to showcase something I was good at (i.e. gaming) and hence, it didn't take long for me to decide that I wanted to start a gaming channel after my previous YouTube channel ended. This wasn't to say that I didn't like what I did previously. I enjoyed putting myself in embarrassment talking about things that people wouldn't usually talk about. But this time it was different. Since I got a PS5 and I was, after all, nearing the end of my university days, I thought that I'll use my free time to film some awesome gaming videos for people to see. 

There's a difference between being good at gaming and actually love gaming. I fell under the category of loving gaming. The truth is that I was not the best in gaming. If I was, I could have been doing it full time already. So my idea for this YouTube channel was to just play random games and if I somehow played badly in any of these, well, it would make for good comedy content anyways. And so, my content started with Overcooked, pretty much the simplest of all games. Not only was it easy to film, but it was also easy to edit. There were very few bloopers here and there, but if there were, then it could be easily edited out. Things were going fine, but I guess expanding out to other genres was inevitable to gain more attention from other viewers.

That was when I started venturing out of the only game that I've bought year after year; FIFA. Damn, I love FIFA. And I thought it would be cool to film the next gen FIFA on PS5, with the sick graphics and sh*t. But it was only after filming it did I realise how much of a pain editing was. There was no way people would wanna watch the full match gameplay, but rather only specific highlights like goals, near misses and insane defending. And if you were gonna put them into minutes, that was like a mere 5 to 10 minutes out of 30 minutes of footage that I needed to rewatch and remove the unimportant parts. So that was very very tiring for me. But thanks to a bunch of free time plus a lockdown from COVID-19, I managed to churn out video after video. The cost of doing so, however, were hours of time that I could be doing something else. One video of FIFA could take me an entire day minimum to edit, while an episode of Overcooked took me just about an one hour to do so.

After doing several videos of FIFA, I eventually expanded yet again to Naruto and Injustice. But after doing, perhaps 30 to 40 videos, things took a toll on me when I took a full-time job and had no time to edit anymore videos, much less filming them. Everyday I came home tired and just looking forward to sleeping my a** away till the very next day. And so that's where my YouTube gaming channel ended. Not so much of me losing interest, but rather the lack of time to invest to such an interest.

To be honest, it was fun while it lasted. I suppose the entire time doing this made me more comfortable in front of camera. I could express myself naturally in front of the camera and not all was lost from doing all these. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for this life of filming and making videos. It truly requires lots of dedication and fine tuning to the craft. But it just makes me respect the hell out of whoever is in that profession, part time or full time. Off I go to find another hobby, but knowing me, I think that would take a long time to find and even if I do, it probably won't last long. Guess that's what she said. 

#4: Ending FYP With A Bang - Aug 2020 - April 2021:

This is what you can call a pain in the a**. If there's anything you can't do with someone else in university, is the dreaded FYP. You're just on your own; shout out to all the single people out there. But damn, FYP was seriously no joke. All I can say is that the rumors of FYP were all true; even if you're not actively doing FYP, the FYP will always be your greatest nightmare no matter what you do and where you are at. 

Truth be told, I wanted to do an internship. It kinda felt like it would be something I would enjoy. What could be better than clearing a huge module in NUS and earning some moolah at the same time? Certainly couldn't be FYP. But finding one wasn't so easy. COVID-19 was at its peak during that period and most companies had frozen hiring, so it was difficult to get a place as an intern. It didn't take long before the deadline for deciding between a FYP and FYI eventually concluded and those who failed to secure a FYI position would have to settle whatever that is left for the FYPs.

As you may have already seen from the title, I failed to secure any FYIs by the deadline and had to settle for one of the FYPs. Thankfully, there was one project out of the multitudes of boring ones that really piqued my interest. It was a project about improving Chemistry learning in universities using newer and more creative methods like gamification. Teaching? Learning? Those are certainly within my realm of interest and expertise. To make things better, it was one of the Professors in NUS that I liked. So I went for that project. Something quite funny during the interview with my prof was how she was telling me how difficult and tedious this project was with all the reading, research and implementation, occasionally trying to dissuade me from taking the project. But to be honest, if anything I'm all about hard work. And this to me, would have been an easy feat. So I was undeterred by her dissuasion lol. 

But anyways, FYP started out fine. I was asked to go through some quite pointless courses like using the machines for NMR and really encountering some rude a** people like Ms Han from the NMR lab (more about her in the CM4199 module review). The reason why I said this was all pointless was because I knew that lab was omitted from my FYP due to COVID, so there was nothing for me to sample on. Furthermore, my project wouldn't involve machinery from the lab, so I went through those courses for nothing.

All these while I've heard stories of how the FYP is so difficult, and that it causes people to have a lack of sleep due to the amount of insane work that one needs to do. After being through that, I actually felt that my FYP was a breeze. So much so that I had the time on my hands to take many afternoon naps and even take up part time tuition. I'm not sure if it was the nature of my FYP or the fact that I had an insanely good time management back then, but wow, it was way easier than I expected. Presentations were easy, writing the thesis was easy, but most importantly, discovering new methods to teach students were easy. 

That's not to say that there weren't any bumpy roads ahead while I was doing the FYP. When things went to sh*t, such as when my prof emailed me in the middle of the night to change something, I settled it immediately (because I do not like to procrastinate) and got it over and done with. With every new task, I just made sure I cleared within 3 days maximum and before I knew it, I finished the entire FYP.

To make things even better, the results of my FYP were a huge success. Since my FYP was about developing a new method to teach students Chemistry, results and improvements in the student's grades were essential. With that said, the new method improved student's grades by 25%. Students also feedbacked positively of the new methods imposed so that, plus some banging presentation and thesis, helped me attain that big A. All these while doing part-time tuition and gaining more experience in that field. So if you were to ask me, this entire FYP was tailor made for me from the very beginning, and only deserving of nothing short other than ending it with a bang.

#3: Breaking Out Financially - Jan 2021 - Dec 2021:

If there was one thing that was absent when I was in my previous relationship, it was personal growth. Being in a relationship could sometimes make someone really comfortable, so much so that they forgot what they were doing before they got attached. When I was in my previous relationship, I was so fixated on maintaining the relationship, preparing gifts and well, catching cheaters that I forgot all about myself and growing myself. So much so that when my relationship ended, I was left with a question of what's next and a gap full of "I should've done this before" and "I should've taken this opportunity".

And you might ask; what kind of growth can one even grow in? Well, for starters, I used to be very dependent financially. For perhaps 24 years of my life, I've always relied on my parents financially. This is not to say I didn't go out to work at all. I did go out to work and earn money whenever I could, but in terms of managing finances, I relied heavily on my parents. I didn't have a bank account where I could control my own finances. So of course, anything that would involve investment, stocks and insurances were very unknown areas to me and if I had any, it would have been my parents pulling the strings on my behalf. It did strike to me that I should be more independent in my financials at times, but the thought about actively making a change always left me. In fact, making the change also came with lots of discouragement by my own parents, who thought that it wasn't time for me to take over the financial realm.

This was until the end of last year when I decided that I should start teaching tuition again since it was nearing the end of my university days and I needed to start early. It took a lot of contemplating to come up with the idea of how I should take charge of my own finance. After many failed attempts of trying, I decided that the only way for this to happen is to not let myself waver again should my parents decide to convince me not to be financially independent. The quickest way was to show them that I can be financially independent. So in order for me to do this, I had to break away from as much of their support as possible. This meant that I need to start working ASAP and earn my own money. 

And so, I did do it in the end. I started by creating my own bank account. But it didn't come without a lot of resistance from my parents. Not gonna go into so much about what happened, but there were a lot of heated arguments and at times, I had lots of self doubts of what I was trying to do. Thanks to my girlfriend, who supported my decision through and through, I was able to tide this uncertain period. At first, I had to still rely a lot on my parents financially because I wasn't earning much from tuition. But as time progressed, I began to break free from their stronghold. I learnt a lot in investing and stocks, something the old me wouldn't have any idea in. Slowly, I began to rely less and less on my parents and now, they would only provide me with $150 per month.

So this meant that I would need to manage whatever I earned and spend very closely and tightly. I kept a spreadsheet and recorded everything I spent on to the slightest detail. I saved 90% to 100% of everything I earned (excluding important necessities like food and transport). I admit that this had made me a lot more mindful of spending such that it totally discourages me from buying stuff that I would normally buy on a regular basis like milk tea or a slightly more expensive meal. Guess I gotta slowly work on spending a little more to enjoy life more than I am already enjoying myself, but I am proud of the sacrifices that I've made.

I'm also glad my parents have trusted my abilities to manage my own money. So at the end of the day, it was a risky leap of faith into the unknown, one with lots of uncertainties, management and sacrifices, but it was all worth while in the end. What's next for the future? Stocks and investment are something I would really want to focus on in 2022. I would also want to be less reliant on my parent's financials as much as possible. Either way, I'm on the right step in making a huge change in my life.

#2: Getting My First Ever Full-Time Job - Aug 2021:

I was actually debating on whether this should be at the top of my list. After all, this was one of the happiest moments of my life and the first ever breakthrough I got into an academic career. 

For anyone who didn't know, I started teaching private tuition back in my JC days and eventually the ball started rolling even more when I got into NS. However, when I got into NUS, I had to momentarily stop my tuition because it was difficult to juggle my university academics, relationships and hall events. But after I broke up and left hall, I continued to take private tuition, this time with a greater intensity. Eventually, during the last few months of NUS, during my FYP days, I took close to 10 private tuitions, sometimes even cramming 5 to 6 tuitions in one day. So you can really see how long I've swam in the private tuition waters. 

If anything, I knew what I wanted to do from the very beginning and what makes me happy. Heck, I think those who knew me know how much I love teaching. The only people who couldn't see it are those who think they knew me (hi relatives!). But anyways, the moment I came to NUS, there was only one objective; get a degree with honors, get out and be a teacher. Nothing else. There wasn't a thought of being a researcher, a lab assistant or a professor. And perhaps that's a good thing because a lot of people do go through university not even knowing what they want to be. Some do have an idea, but have no idea how to get there. But for me, no matter what teacher I would end up becoming; be it a MOE teacher or a tuition teacher, I didn't care. 

Speaking of MOE, that ship never docked where I stood. And it hurts me, I'm not gonna lie to not have that ship come towards my direction, but I see it as an opportunity for me to better myself and perhaps even, find something better that MOE couldn't provide. And so, when I was rejected by MOE yet again last year, I stood my ground and just hustled to even more private tuition. I remembered back in January when I was only earning a mere $350 a month for teaching 2 students. Yes, you read that correctly, 2 students for $350 a month. I couldn't buy much for myself, let alone the people I loved around me. Getting by at that time was difficult. Not to mention, it was during that period when I decided to rely less on my parents financially. 

But I managed to get by. Soon, I started to get more and more private tuition and I finally broke out of the 3 digit earning bracket in March and into a 4 figure sum. It made me happy knowing my accomplishments and hard work juggling tuition and FYP at the same time, were finally being paid off. 

It wasn't about the money that was a measure of my success (it's still important because I was trying to be self-sustaining), but doing so while being happy is something that made me feel like I could accomplish something close to a MOE career. By June, I had over 15 students and I was finally able to have excess to spend and save. My schedule during the weekends were stretched from 8am to 10pm back to back.

But it was also during that period where I had a weird feeling telling me that I should find a full-time job. While I enjoyed all the private tutoring, the travelling from location to location nearly broke my spirit at times. Just imagine, travelling from Bedok to Yishun, only to go to Boon Lay and then all the way to Pasir Ris. At first, it felt fine, but the toll on me slowly began to overwhelm me badly. In addition to that, the planning of lessons, scheduling and rescheduling if they cancelled the lessons didn't feel like it was something I like to handle. My passion lies in teaching and not the admin part. Don't get me started on the parents that I had to deal with. It was tiring to say the least. That was when I decided to look elsewhere for another alternative. 

This was when I found my full-time job. To be honest, from the time I applied to the interview to the time I signed the contract, everything came and gone really too fast. I remembered receiving another job offer from my old tuition centre that I worked part time in. In that job, it felt like I would've been within my comfort zone. However, that could be a bad thing at times because it could mean that I won't grow as much. So my girlfriend convinced me to try a new challenge, one that would potentially push me out of my comfort zone, but at the same time, make me grow more as a teacher. And true enough, a challenge was what I got. Before I signed the contract, I was placed in some classes with another teacher to teach small segments in each class. And so I taught in those classes, as I normally would have taught my own students. Little did I know those teachers present in the class were also lowkey assessing me. 

It was a few weeks of teaching and teaching, being thrown into the unknown of not knowing what the future holds for me. But thankfully, I impressed enough and I got the contract signed. So I guess that marked the end of the private tuition era. I really enjoyed teaching private tuition, but having an admin team so that I am able to focus on teaching really lifts a lot of burdens off my shoulders and I am truly looking forward to what the future holds for me in there. 

#1: Graduating From NUS - Aug 2017 - Oct 2021:

Graduating from arguably the biggest university in Singapore had to be the biggest highlight this year. After all, I spent 4 years in that place grinding and crying and grinding while crying just to obtain a piece of paper to say that I'm actually good at something. No, seriously though, 4 years is a hell lot of effort and if I'll be damned if I don't put this event as the main highlight of 2021. 

I think emotionally, the conclusion of my 4 years in NUS was very lacklustre. Simply because of COVID-19 and how my graduation ceremony just kept getting delayed again and again. And by the time I did have my graduation ceremony, it didn't feel special anymore. At some point I just didn't even want to go for it and could you blame me? I graduated in May 2021, but had my ceremony in October 2021. That's a span of 5 months with a total of 2 cancelled live events in between. Furthermore, before I even officially finished school, I was already busy working my butt off so I guess when I eventually graduated, the feeling was a little off not gonna lie. The graduating mood was already drained out of my system!

But when the graduation ceremony finally came about, I was pretty excited. People are excited about different things. Some were excited about finally graduating and closing that final chapter of NUS. Some were excited to finally be able to stand on that stage and obtain the recognition from whoever. Some were excited to see their friends and take pictures. For me, I'm just excited to wear that gown and give my parents and myself, a memory of my graduation. In other words, I was excited to finally be able to show them that I did it, in my own way and terms. For those of you who knew me well, you would've known that recognition in academics isn't something I'm blessed with from the start and to finally be able to get that, means the world to me. My parents were proud of me (I hope they were) and I'm proud of myself for being able to conquer NUS when there was a time where conquering Secondary school was a daunting task on its own.

It served as a reminder of the many late nights I had to go through, writing and memorising the notes I created for myself. It reminded of the times when I had to suffer in the lab, hoping and praying I won't screw up the experiment (did I tell you how much I hate lab?). It reminded all the time sacrificed away from my parents, my grandmother, my friends and so many more. It reminded me of the time when I cried for failing a particular test, where I only got 5 MCQ wrong (out of the possible 40), but because the bell-curve was a nightmare, I ended up failing. But on a positive note, it reminded me of how much potential I had and that I got it all along. When many people had doubted me to succeed in life, or whether I could make it to JC or university, I proved them all wrong. And as I closed the chapter and bid my days of academics goodbye in 2021, little did I know that I've already opened a new chapter in academics in 2021. This time, at the other side of the desk. 

So that's another year wrapped up. Nothing really spectacular really happened this year. Too busy to really spend time with friends all the time, too tired to keep up with the partying and too focused on taking the next step in my life. Well, at least I made the effort to continue this end of year tradition for the top events in 2021. Dee Kosh didn't do his... oh wait... Nevermind that. 2022 is gonna be yet another crazy ride. So many new adventures and new possibilities that I just can't wait. Wishing you guys a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Byee!